“Never get a tattoo where a judge can see it.” Brian Setzer
If you get a tattoo because your buddies are getting one, odds are you will never see those buddies again within one week.
If you think you need a haircut, you do. If you’re part of the group men with a ponytail, remember ninety-nine out of one hundred of you are flirting with foolishness. If you are number one hundred, carry on.
Frequently shovel the snow off your neighbor’s sidewalk and driveway. If your neighbor is elderly or a single woman, always shovel the snow. If you have a son of sufficient age, make sure he does the same.
If you see your elderly widow neighbor shoveling her snow, shame on you.
If you are a single man and your neighbor is an unattached attractive single woman of good character and, dare to dream, can throw down in the kitchen, why are you still reading this?
Beer is for drinking more than tasting. Sure, you have your preferences, but if these preferences give birth to prolonged pronouncements using words such as “hops” and “barley”, you need to stop talking and start drinking. If these preferences lead to putting down someone else’s beer, especially while he’s enjoying said beer, you need to immediately say “Just kidding,’” and buy the next round.