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Let’s get one thing straight.
Chili is the finest food on earth.
Cowboys. Cook-offs. Meat. Stick-to-your-ribness. Endless variety. Make it on a stove. Make it on a campfire. There is even hobo chili. Chili is quintessential Old School.
Things you should know about chili
Chili is so powerful, Chuck Norris is afraid of it.
Chili has a country named after it. (They changed the last “i” to an “e” to avoid being eaten by Brazil.)
Chili should always be made with beer. Why?
- Different beers can add wonderful flavors to your chili.
- You get to take a swig or two while you prepare the chili. A just reward for your “slaving” at the pot.
- Using beer gives you a wonderful feeling of “sticking it to the man” that you just can’t get with cooking sherry.
- While eating a bowl with your kids, you get to lean over to your four year old and say, “Hey, son, this chili has beer in it.”
When done up right, a meal of chili has all the major food groups:
- Meat (beef, sausages, you name it)
- Vegetables (tomatoes, onions, peppers)
- Legumes (beans)
- Grains (crackers)
- Dairy (cheese)
- Beer (beer)
Chili, like grilling and barbeque, is an appropriate expression of male culinary braggadocio. Meaning, I don’t really want to hear my best buddy say, “Say what you want, but my meringue kicked your butt and called you Suzie.”
Chili is a meal and a topping. Take that, Shimmer!
If manna was chili the Israelites might still be roaming the wilderness… and be mighty happy about it.
A Chili Recipe
Want some chili? Here’s a recipe. This is not my top secret recipe. You’re not ready for that. But this one is very tasty. I literally made it about an hour before I typed this.
- I package of Carrol Shelby’s Chili Kit
- 1.2 pounds* of turkey
- 1.2 pounds* of chorizo sausage (Both the meat weights just happened to be how the meat was pre-packaged. I was going for approximately 2.5 pounds of meat) Though this is a subject for future chili posts, the ground meat and sausage combo can be an important part of a good chili recipe.
- A diced onion (How much is that? How much you got? It’s chili, not nuclear science. Relax.)
- 2 – 15 oz* cans of Petite Cut (whatever that means) diced tomatoes with “zesty jaleponos”
- 1 – 15 oz* can of black beans
- 2 – 15 oz* cans of pinto beans
- 1 bottle of beer (I used a bottle of Blue Moon.)
*All of these weights are approximations. This chili police will not show up at your house if the can is an ounce heavier.
Brown the meat. Make sure you take the chorizo sausage out of its casings. Break it up into, at most, 1/2 inch long morsels. (“Morsels”… good word.) Brown the meat along with the onions.
Take a swig of beer.
While that is simmering, put the tomatoes, beans and beer in a big pot on low heat.
Once the meat is done, add the meat and onions (green peppers, too, if you got’em) to the pot. Stir.
Take your final swig of beer. Add remaining beer. Stir.
Now add Shelby’s chili mix. Stir.
Now add the masa flour. Stir.
I intentionally leave out the Shelby’s cayenne pepper and salt so my the chili remains little wingman friendly.
Let simmer on low heat for a half hour.
Ideally you would wait until tomorrow for the optimal chili flavor, but we both know that is not going to happen. Get yourself a bowl and be Mayor of Dee’lish City.
Tomorrow it will even be better.
Important tip: If you wanted grated cheese on your chili, make it freshly grated. Same thing with spaghetti. The pre-packaged cheese takes like sawdust compared to the freshly grated.
Keep it Old School, my friends.
The Old Man
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