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Valentine’s Day Part 2: What Should Women Do For Men?

Posted by on February 3, 2012

I’m tired of Valentine’s Day being a one way street for women. Men do all the work, buy all the stuff, make all the plans and the women just get, get and get.

Thankfully, the Smokin’ Hot Wife is on the same page with me. A few minutes ago she called my home office and offered something that usually isn’t associated with the middle of the work day.

I immediately came home.

It’s something that makes me enormously happy.

It’s something that always leaves me wanting even more.

It’s something that, as a man, I was born to love.

I am, of course, referring to bacon.

This is not the Smokin' Hot Wife's bacon. Her bacon has never been photographed because it disappears too quickly to be captured by a camera, much like the real Sasquatch.

And not just any bacon, but The Smokin’ Hot Wife Official Old School Bacon. Since we married  — premarital bacon is, of course, untoward (untoward,  good word) — I’ve loved her bacon. She has a way of making bacon that is so superior to anything else, so… bacony… that it spoils me for anything else. The secret? She cooks it in the oven. This ensures quality and makes a large amount of bacon easier. Large amounts of bacon… hmmm.

Don’t dismiss this as a small thing, with thoughts like “bacon is bacon”. Unless you’re cookin’ on a campfire while Tex plays the mouth harp, it’s the only way to go.

The Smokin’ Hot Wife Official Old School Bacon Recipe

1. Cover a cookie sheet with aluminum foil.

2. Set the oven to 375 (don’t worry about letting it preheat)

3. Spread bacon in a single layer.

4. Put in oven 15-20 minutes.

5. While it cooks, enjoy the winsome howling of every dog and every man for a five mile radius.

6. Enjoy bacon.

Simple? Yes. But if you want consistently awesome bacon in the kind of large quantities bacon demands, it’s the only way to go.

As I sit here in my post bacon feelgoodedness (yeah, it’s a word, at least on this blog) I wish you here with me so you could know how good it is.


“Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy bacon.”
Scott Davis

Keep it Old School, my friend

The Old Man

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