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Why Krispy Kreme Is Better Than Starbucks

Posted by on January 6, 2014

Starbucks calls a large coffee a “venti”.

Krispy Kreme calls a large coffee a “large”.

And they call a small coffee a “tall” and a medium coffee a “grande”. There’s no logic there. How about this, Starbucks: call a small a “tall”, a medium a “super tall” and a large an “Andre the Giant”? Stupid? Yes. But at least it’s consistent. The few times I’ve been to a Starbucks I REFUSE to use these moronic terms.

Me: I’d like a large coffee please.
Starbucks: That will be one venti.  Would you like anything else, sir?
Me: No thank you. Just a large coffee please.
Starbucks: Would you like room for cream in your venti coffee?
Me: Listen up, Sunshine. First, it’s a large. Second, when I get french fries the guy behind  the counter doesn’t ask me if I want room for ketchup. Third, we’re at a turnpike rest stop and I just need some caffeine to make it the next 100 miles so can we please ditch the Euro-Organic-Fake-Words-Affectations?
(OK, that last line is just in my head.)

Starbucks sells “pastries” from some vendor you don’t see.

Krispy Kreme makes the doughnuts right in front of you and, if you bite into one seconds after it’s prepared, you, my friend, have been kissed by a sugar angel.

Have you ever had a Krispy Kreme doughnut seconds after it’s made? No? No!! Your life sucks.

Starbucks moronically lawyers up on a local bar.

Krispy Kreme lets a guy with ALS steal a doughnut truck.

Click on both links and watch the brief videos and tell me what they say about the corporate cultures of the two companies.
Enough said.

Keep It Old School, My Friend


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